This is kind of a Part 2 to my other post Things I Didn’t Know I Needed. By letting go of my preconcieved ideas, by throwing out the “checklist”, I have finally found a satisfying relationship with Mr Wayne where I feel healthy, happy and secure.
I’ve clung to my list of “must-haves” for so long that I’m not sure where a lot of them came from or why I thought they were so important. These are a few that I now know I can live without and I certainly don’t need to be happy:
– Domly-Dom: Although I’ve not really had this I always thought I needed one of those very strict Dominants who micromanages his submissive. High protocal, ritualistic Dom. I know this is a rewarding relationship for some people, but I now realize that I don’t need that, in fact it would probably be unhealthy for me to have this. Quiet dominance with a relaxed and caring vibe is much healthier for me!
– Economic Status: Yes, I’m a snob! I always assumed I couldn’t be happy with someone unless they were wealthy. Yes, this makes me sound shallow (I was) but it’s how I felt. I’ve experienced a lot in my life and been fortunate, and somehow I thought that I had to have a man with money to keep experiencing things and to keep being fortunate. I’ve learned (very slowly) that it’s not about the money but the person. Lesson learned!
– Clean Cut Professional: No smokers, no hippies, no bikers, no tattoos, no rebels, no “alternative” choices (well, apart from BDSM of course!)… You get the idea. I always thought I needed to be with the workaholic, suit and tie type of guy. But again I’ve learned that this just isn’t true. There are many professional men who are caring and considerate, but the ones I’ve dated/married have always put work before me! Nope, not a good thing!
– Pushy: This is a strange one. But I used to only date guys who were very forward and almost pushy (some were very pushy!) about sex. I always used to have sex on the first or second date. That sexual entitlement seemed the normal to me and I doubted anyone that wasn’t pushing me for sex (maybe he’s just not that into me?). But I think it might be the other way around. If a guy wants to wait, wants to get to know you better before having sex, then maybe he is very much into you and he doesn’t want to rush things and make it meaningless.
The list goes on in a similar vein to this. All superficial things that have dictated my dating life up to now. I’m so glad I broke with tradition and tried something (someone!) different. I was always looking for the “perfect” partner, but when I finally decided to stop looking for “perfect”, that’s when I found the man that IS perfect for me! Ironic!