Things I didn’t know I needed

Things are going from strength to strength with Mr Shy (really need a new name for him!). As I’ve said before, he is very different to the kind of guys I normally date. I always had this “checklist” of things I needed, some I openly admitted, others were more subconscious. But as things progress with Mr Shy, I realize that there’s been things missing from my previous relationships (maybe why I was so anxious and neurotic in relationships before?).

– Complete openness. This might be a “duh” one, but I’ve never been so open with someone or had someone so open with me. He has my FetLife login and I have his, he uses my computer and I don’t care if he sees my emails, I want him to have access to all areas of my life. Nothing is hidden or kept separate. This is NOT like me! I would always keep things separate, not because I was hiding anything, just because there were parts of my life I didn’t want to there, not so with Mr Shy.

– Willing to learn. My previous Doms and Tops have always been very arrogant and refused to learn or explore new areas of BDSM. If they didn’t already know about it, they didn’t want to seem inexperienced, so wouldn’t try something new! Ok, I get it, it’s a pride thing, but it meant that eventually things got very boring. The same thing over and over, with no chance to grow or learn. I’m all about the learning and growing!

– Someone caring. Doms are strict, have control and do what is best for me and the relationship, even if I don’t agree? Right? Maybe not. I now realize that I need someone gentler, someone that cares for me and takes time to make sure I’m happy and comfortable. Someone that pampers me and makes me feel special. In this caring environment I can really submit and relax and become myself.

– Build me up Buttercup. Someone that is positive and encouraging, not critical and disheartening. ‘nough said!

– Community. This one is a real surprise to me, but I’m really enjoying being part of a community again. Mr Shy is very dedicated to the local BDSM community. He’s known as someone that can be relied on and is well respected. He wants to go to local events and meet people and learn new things. I like that!

– Touch. For some reason I’ve mainly been with guys who don’t need/want a lot of physical contact (except sex of course!). I just accepted this as the difference between guys and girls. But Mr Shy is different; he is very affectionate. When we are together we are pretty much always touching in some way or another. And even more surprisingly I don’t feel it’s overwhelming or suffocating. Bonus – one of his favorite things to do is to give me lllooooonnnngggg full body massages and like a good submissive I take it!!!

– Talk nerdy to me. Heee, heee. So this one is a bit silly, but I’m a nerd! I like nerdy things and often pretend otherwise so I don’t appear so nerdy! Being able to let my inner nerd out  and get excited about things is great! No judgement (maybe that’s more what it is – knowing I won’t be judged for how I act or talk).

And a million other tiny things that all add up!

Happy 🙂